I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
did i just pee glitter
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
