i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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