I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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