think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
