Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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