I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
