): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
