And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
