I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
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