I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
