theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
