I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Randomize
