is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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