Hey man sorry I got all grabby
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Randomize
