should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
