you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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