VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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