If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
