I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
You ruined the universe
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
