smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
