My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
