I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
