Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
