Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
