Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
