I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
