VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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