I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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