Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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