this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
