he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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