Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
