if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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