Small penises have feelings too.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
