hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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