He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
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