did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
