i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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