we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
