Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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