I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
