How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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