There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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