i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i think my mom watched the whole time
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
