thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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