nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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