Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
