Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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