Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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