I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
