Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
