is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
