she was so not down for the gang bang
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
