Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
