Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
