They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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