Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
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