the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
