i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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