I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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