They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
3pm strippers are depressing
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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