I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
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