if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
