What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
