piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
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