the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
