ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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