You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
