You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize