shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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