for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
